11 years

February 22nd marks 11 years... 11.

I'll never forget that morning. It was so early. I remember walking to the other side of the hospital, from the bright colorful walls of the children's hospital to the deary dull white walls of the adult hospital. I remember taking an x-ray, without proper checking in by desk staff, as they were not clocked in yet. I remember sitting in my smiley face scrub jacket over my best red scrubs fiddling with my pen light in my pocket and realizing I still had an INT in my pocket, as well. Looking to my right to see two radiologists viewing a film on the light box. I remember the smell. I remember the lights. I remember the look. The radiologists called me over to view a shadowy film luminated artifically. As they pulled me into their conversation, the Chief stepped back... his eyes glistened. His face somber.

I remember calling Chris, just as he was about to leave for work. I told him not to go yet... Questions, Concerns, Wanting anything to be able to teleport himself to my side. More tests, more areas of the hospital that were unfamiliar, alone.

I remember starting my car. I remember the sunlight so warm on that cool morning. I remember calling my Mom on the way home, as they gave me 2 hours before the next test that had to be run. I cried as I listened to her run the "list" as a response to my question of "what you up to today?" As this question was now returned... I could just say "Well, I need to be added to your prayer list again." Tearings running torrentially, knowing that angels must have been driving the car. I recanted to Mom... "tumor" "bone" "not good" words echoed around that small car.

Arriving home, Chris running out to the car to meet me...


"Praise God to Whom all Blessings flow..........