11 years

February 22nd marks 11 years... 11.

I'll never forget that morning. It was so early. I remember walking to the other side of the hospital, from the bright colorful walls of the children's hospital to the deary dull white walls of the adult hospital. I remember taking an x-ray, without proper checking in by desk staff, as they were not clocked in yet. I remember sitting in my smiley face scrub jacket over my best red scrubs fiddling with my pen light in my pocket and realizing I still had an INT in my pocket, as well. Looking to my right to see two radiologists viewing a film on the light box. I remember the smell. I remember the lights. I remember the look. The radiologists called me over to view a shadowy film luminated artifically. As they pulled me into their conversation, the Chief stepped back... his eyes glistened. His face somber.

I remember calling Chris, just as he was about to leave for work. I told him not to go yet... Questions, Concerns, Wanting anything to be able to teleport himself to my side. More tests, more areas of the hospital that were unfamiliar, alone.

I remember starting my car. I remember the sunlight so warm on that cool morning. I remember calling my Mom on the way home, as they gave me 2 hours before the next test that had to be run. I cried as I listened to her run the "list" as a response to my question of "what you up to today?" As this question was now returned... I could just say "Well, I need to be added to your prayer list again." Tearings running torrentially, knowing that angels must have been driving the car. I recanted to Mom... "tumor" "bone" "not good" words echoed around that small car.

Arriving home, Chris running out to the car to meet me...


"Praise God to Whom all Blessings flow..........

Chris's New Job & Toilet Paper Reflections! ...ummm... but not related to each other!!! LOL!!!!!

Chris started work yesterday!! How awesome is that! The Lord really just dumped it on him, too. There was discussion regarding it back in December, but nothing seemed to be surfacing... then he got a call last week, and started yesterday!!

He said it was very surreal... to be sitting in a cubicle. A similar cubicle... Extraordinarily different place... and being an extraordinarily different person.

You just can't Erase 3 years... nor would we. It seems sometimes that people expect that we should just drop back into our "old" way of life.... and... we might can APPEAR to be doing that... we really aren't! WE CAN'T BE!! You just can't leave an experience like ours in Brasil and just act like it's back to "keeping up with the Jones's" again...

One major thing that has changed in us.... is WE REALLY HAVE TOO MANY CHOICES! While it is nice to be able to get old favorites... like ROOT BEER, and Red Hots, and Runts! It is QUITE Annoying to look at so many different brands, types, styles, and colors of EVERY DARN THING! Like Toilet paper.... tonight, I'm searching over the Toilet paper... there are Regular rolls, Big rolls, MEGA rolls, Double Rolls... there's Ultra Soft, Ultra Strong, Ultra Big... There's 4 packs, 6 packs, 12 packs, 18 packs, 24 packs... then there is the Double rolled so the 12 packs you buy is really like buying 24 packs........ DO WE REALLY NEED THIS?!?!?!?!

CAN WE NOT NARROW IT DOWN TO.... THE GOOD SOFT STUFF, AND THE BAD CHEAP STUFF?????

I'm standing there, then finally like "Just grab something... for PETE'S SAKE!!" So I did... And you know..... it REALLY JUST DOESN'T MATTER!!

Another thing that changed us about Choices is: Not being so picky. In Brasil, if you order a hamburger without something.... GOOD LUCK!!!

Change of Choices is not a bad thing...... Not by a long shot!! Like the CHOICE that we had to keep my Dad's 1992 Oldsmobile! Like the CHOICE to put Caleb in a good public school. Like the CHOICE for Chris to NOT return to Corporate America, and instead be more Ministry minded with occupational choices. Like the CHOICE to attend a Chinese Baptist Church on Fridays to have more Multi-cultural experiences like we were used to in Brasil. Like the CHOICE to PAY CASH for our other needed vehicle instead of Financing!!

Not to say that we always make the Best Choice, because we are FAR from that. BUT... just to say that our Choices are now much more lead by Prayer than by Desire. More lead by Need & Function than just want and "just 'cuz".

Yes, Chris, Beverly, and Caleb are back... physically.... but we are BACK so much BETTER than before!! Please give us some time and some Grace, and we'll show you what we learned!

His Grace is MORE than Enough!

***Author's Note: .... OK, FOR REAL...... This is ridiculous!! I sat down on this night (1/18) to Back-date some details since we've been home....... the Previous TWO NOTES came from Tears pouring down my face as I tried to just write BORING Details!! The First, titled "Ramblings..." came after the FIRST paragraph (below), and the Second "Hair reflections" came after the SECOND paragraph (below)... I've had to cut and paste them here, as they COMPLETELY don't fit with the rest of the post.... I'm over here a big ball of snot & tears, and Chris asking every 5 minutes "you ok?" "Have I don't something wrong?" "who are you talking to?" LOL!! He probably figures I'm watching Hallmark videos or something!! :) ........SO.......... I will try to gather myself to FINISH this ONE post that I sat down to write about 2 hours ago!!! Not sure where this emotion comes from, but truthfully probably just been pent up inside, and writing is a great way to release it! I hope that you will read through these knowing that the deep recesses of my heart are processing the past 3 years, being home, transition, and I thank you for reading these. They are HONEST... may not be pretty, and will probably Ramble... but Honest, real, personal. SO... BACK to the DETAIL-Y stuff! :)

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Ok..... We're FREEZING!! FOR REAL!! We landed on December 26th, back in the States, and it's COLD... Really COLD! We landed with our only Long Sleeve shirts on, and I still had Flip Flops on! :D Chris says we look like the Accidental Tourist! :) It was good and sweet to see Mom, Dad, and Charlie and Brooklyn at the airport! But, we were tired..... physically tired, but more Emotionally Exhausted...

The next morning, we woke up very late! We woke up late EVERY morning in fact! Brooklyn and Caleb were outside playing and riding bikes... in SUB-Freezing Temperatures. As I wrap up in borrowed clothes, I peer outside at my darling child... dressed in Razorback Overalls for girls, and a Christmas sweater covered in Bows!! Dear Heaven!! Please, please just don't take pictures, was about all I could get out between the loud pounds of laughter! He was WARM, He was having Fun! And then to my dearest Husband..."Baby... we GOTTA get to WALMART!!" And to Walmart we went... and stocked up on all those things we haven't had to wear... like COATS, SWEAT PANTS, Long sleeves, SOCKS!!, SweatShirts, Mittens, HATS! I even wore my Mom's house shoes to Walmart, as I only had sandals to my name!! **Btw... that's what happens when you live in a (somewhat) tropical region! You wear SANDALS and Capri's every day! I don't even OWN closed toe shoes, other than Tennis Shoes!! Thankfully, things are SOOOOOO much cheaper here! Thank heavens!!

We stayed the first week with Mom and Dad, and Brooklyn. Caleb and "Brook" had a great time playing together, riding bikes, and playing with toys. We withheld the Wii until they were about at wits end with the other stuff. It was SO cold that we FEARED that Caleb would get SOOO sick. We feared that we would ALL get sick... But as a Faithful Father who answers Prayers, the Lord allowed us to be free from illness! Thank you!!!

AND.... on January 3rd, we got to MOVE IN to our New Apartment!!! What a HUGE Answer to Prayer!! We have been approved by Mid-America Baptist Seminary (where Chris will attend full time in August) to stay in a Missionary Apartment until June! IT'S COMPLETELY FURNISHED!!! COMPLETELY!!! We *LITERALLY* had to only put in Groceries!!! No towels, No pans, No Sheets... *IT WAS ALL HERE!!* What a HUGE Relief!! And a HUGE Answer to Prayer!!

We stayed very busy that first week, with all sorts of things. Unfortunately, we also got news that my Dad's sister died. She was an Amazing lady! Always laughing, Always telling jokes! She and my uncle would go on mission trips to Belize and travel all over the nation in their Airstream. She will be So missed... BUT, she is Dancing as never before now... In Heaven, with Her Saviour!! .:Amazing Grace:. Grace that provides us a FUTURE and a HOPE.

This past week was Very Eventful... I had an Interview (which was really quick & easy!) and accepted a Job at the West Clinic as a Research Nurse! ...back up... I had contacted my boss back in December and she told me that she didn't have any positions available. I had RESTED in the Lord that if He wanted me to work, He would provide it! AND... I was really enjoying the REST... the REST that we haven't exactly had in the past 3 years! I entertained substituting, or staying home... all sorts of things... but never felt Pressured or Pushed or Guilted into working... certainly not by Chris, and not by MYSELF! THEN... once we were "settled" on the 5th, I got an email from my boss that said she had a position OPEN!!! Praise the LORD! I really loved that job... it was a great opportunity for building relationships with families dealing with Cancer.

This week was a great week for Caleb too... We got him enrolled at his new school. He will attend a public school for now, to conserve costs, but also to give him some NEW Experiences and a Multicultural environment. We know it may be shocking to him at first, as his LARGEST class had 5 students! Please pray for him, his teacher, and his friends! More details to come!

AND... it was an Eventful week for Chris too! He was also "RESTING" in knowing that the Lord had his employment options and plans!! He has been working for the school remotely, and taking classes online. He has spent A LOT of time getting his "office" organized! AND... this week, he got a call about a job that he had inquired about way back in December. He thought it was gone, and had almost forgotten about it. UNTIL... they called Friday!! NOW... Chris is also EMPLOYED!!! YEAH!!! God is so good!!!!

Hair reflections....

We stayed with Mom and Dad all week from Christmas to Jan 3rd. Mom had finished up her first cycle of chemo about 2 weeks prior... so I knew what was gonna happen this week... the hair. Yep... the hair. I so remember this week in my own history. The Hair... EVERYWHERE... kinda funny at first, as it doesn't stop... then not as funny... then VERY Annoying... then, when it's about done and the reflection of the mirror doesn't look anything like it did before... Then, it's a bit more sobering. THEN... it becomes Reality. Even though people all "KNOW" that you are getting chemo, and people "KNOW" you have Cancer... it's not REAL for them either... until the HAIR. Then, it's no longer a topic of conversation that is avoidable. No longer avoidable with friends... but more importantly... no longer a topic that is avoidable with STRANGERS... like at Walmart, Chili's, Walgreens!! The daily reminder in the mirror, regardless of how you feel, seems like it just weighs on you. Unfortunately, there's not really anything "FUN" about it, other than getting to try on new hats, and scarfs, and other possibilities. So... this was Mom's week, and she did SO GOOD!! I remember seeing pictures of myself (5 years later) when I was the Sickest, and asking Chris HOW he could have looked at me, and not been DISGUSTED!! He told me that, he saw ME, the same Beautiful ME that he had always seen! And... I never quite understood that... until Mom's hair fell out. I really don't SEE her any different... she's still my Mom. She's still Beautiful! Her eyes still shine Brightly, and her smile so sweet. I love her dearly, and certainly never expected nor hoped that this week would happen to her... Colossians 1: 16-17 - For by Him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things were created by Him and for Him. ¹⁷He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together. Lord, we are your Creation. HALLOWED be Your Name before ALL the nations, and All the People. Thank you for being BEFORE all things, all situations, all issues, all problems, all disasters, all elections, all diseases, all CT SCANS, all Chemo treatments, all thoughts, all hearts, all........ Lord, Hold us together.

Ramblings...

It's so hard to say Goodbye... But I think that Chris and I have gotten relatively accustomed to it. I was doing so good, UNTIL... at the airport, Marie gave me a Scrapbook that she and others had made! Each page was an Awesome Note and pictures and memories... So Precious to me!! Caleb even got one from Kaylee, with all of their pictures together in it. He combed through each page as if he was scanning each square millimeter for reprinting. We left a place we cherish and a place that has DEFINED us for the past 3 years. 3 years... seems like a small number. 1095 days... minus the summers... I am NOT going to actually calculate every day... but that does seem to make it seem a bit more significant. We feel as if to so many people, we were gone but a blink... a short whisper. And I guess it would.
But I feel like I could re-live each day, in full color, Like the first girls' sleepover. I was nervous, I asked Laura to stay with me, because I didn't know the girls SUPER well, as we'd only been in Brasilia for 6 weeks. I had planned every hour, with back up plans too.... But it totally didn't matter... we laughed, talked, goofed off, played a couple of games, watched a movie, then when it was about bed time... we SWAM in our clothes at 2 AM!! The neighbors even referenced the late Hour the next Sunday at church!! LOL!! But... what I hadn't prepared for... was the morning! I just KNEW the girls would sleep in!! Right?!?! NOPE... they were up at 7am (after sleeping only 3 hours) and wondering what the day had in store!! We ended up at the Amusement park for a few hours of fun... before all of us folded in dehydration at 4pm!! I still remember that MASSIVE headache from no sleep, little fluids, and being spun in every rotational direction possible!!! Ahh... sweet memories! I remember Chris's first guys sleepover too! So many memories... so many kids. I wish there was a way to actually COUNT the number of kids who have been in our house! Or... even more so... RIDDEN in our CAR!! *We've always packed them in at least 2 deep in the back seat with Caleb on top! Often having at least one on the armrest in the front, or (if a girl) on my lap! *I'm secretly hoping whoever is thinking of buying our car isn't reading this post!!!* My sweet Pandu named our car "The Ghetto Mobile!" *In a GOOD Way!* I still remember how to get to EACH and EVERY kid's house! I can even quote most of their cell numbers, even though they were all programmed in my phone. Most would call collect, as they NEVER had credits! ... so many memories... I'll miss their hugs. and smiles. and laughter. I know that the Lord has AWESOME plans for each of them... I know HE loves them even more than Chris or I do! That is Incredibly Reassuring!!

My prayer for them is... ick... so many of them. How do I narrow my prayers, hopes, and greatest desires for their lives?? TO BE FULLY DEVOTED TO HIM! ... AND ... each of them has such a special place in my heart... each of them has unique gifts, and unique promise, and unique beauty.

I guess if I had to BLANKET statement all of them, I'd put them under the blankets of the Key Verses we used for the past 3 retreats... that would be a Start, I guess.

Ephesians 6: 10 - 14 - Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. ¹¹Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. ¹²For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. ¹³Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to Stand Your Ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.

Hebrews 4: 14 - 16 - Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has gone through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, Let Us Hold Firmly (to The ROCK) to the faith we profess. ¹⁵For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was without sin.

Proverbs 4: 20 - 27 - Above all else, Guard Your Heart (Bulletproof), for it is the wellspring of life.

Merry Christmas!

For to us a child is born,

to us a Son is given,

and the government will be on His shoulders.

And He will be called

Wonderful Counselor,

Mighty God,

Everlasting Father,

Prince of Peace.

Of the increase of His government and peace there will be no end.
He will reign on David's throne and over His kingdom, establishing and upholding it with justice and righteousness from that time on and forever.
The zeal of the LORD Almighty will accomplish this.

Goodbye's

Yuck! Goodbye's are NOT fun.... Not at all. I don't like them, I don't like them Sam-I-Am!

We've had to spend the last couple of weeks saying Goodbye! Goodbye to our Kids that we love.... Goodbye to the Church that we love... Goodbye to the School that we have served in diligently for 3 years... Goodbye to Great Friends that seem more like Family... Goodbye to places that have deep meaning and memories... Goodbye to a lifestyle...

Thankfully we are NOT saying Goodbye to our Memories, to our Hearts, or to our Fond Thoughts of this incredible Country. We are saying GOODBYE only in a physical sense, but certainly not in an emotional sense.

We know that we carry with us small parts of the dear students that we have poured our lives into... and we know that we leave small parts of our hearts in them.

Goodbyes are not fun. But the Lord has Equipped us to transition well, and to "GO FORTH"... right now... that "GO FORTH" means returning back home. We know that the Lord will "SEND US OUT" again... in some way... some where.

But for now... we rest in EAGER ANTICIPATION of what Awaits us... He has never failed us, left us, abandoned us, or lead us to danger. Instead... He has lead us to places of greater growth, greater ministry, and to greater knowledge and relationship with Him. *What better place to be?!?!*

We know, FULL HEARTEDLY, that He is leading us home... and that HE has already PREPARED a way.

We are called to TRUST. We are called to OBEY. We are called to ABIDE.

... and so we shall ...

UPDATE!!!!!

Well... This note has been a while coming, and a bit overdue. However, wanted to inform you guys that do not receive our emails that

*We will be HOME for Christmas*

..and it is *NOT* for ONLY a VISIT... but for GOOD (or as long as the Lord allows).

My Mom has been diagnosed with Cancer. She has gone through all the staging processes and has began chemo. As many of you know, I have been an Oncology nurse since 2001, before taking a pause to come and Teach here in Brasilia for the past 3 years. Because of my background, and because the Lord has really laid it on us.... we need to be home. *Now*

It will not be easy... NOT BY ANY STRETCH OF THE IMAGINATION... As we have Poured our lives into our kids here, the school, the church, our ministries. We have worked harder, slept LESS, done more than we have EVER done in our lives AND certainly more than we had ever thought Possible... for the Glory of Christ alone.

We have learned so much about Who God is. He has been so incredible to show us more of HIMSELF over the past 3 years.

Leaving will bring SO MANY tears... and we know the Adjustment back to the States will be difficult. We LOVE OUR KIDS!!! We Love them so much.... we have seen them grow, fall, struggle, TRIUMPH, get frustrated, and have Great Hope! ALL Facets of the Teenage experience. We feel like we have "GROWN" with them. The Memories we have, we will cherish for Days, Months, and YEARS!

The INCREDIBLE thing is that we KNOW that many of these kids, while we will not see them here on Earth again... we *WILL* see again in Heaven!!! And... for the Lord to allow us the precious experience of being a part of what HE DID in their lives is beyond our human comprehension.

Please pray for us as we try very hard to FINISH WELL. Please pray for our kids. Please pray for OUR HEARTS! Please pray for us Financially, as well, as we START OVER! We have NOTHING in the States. My Dad will allow us to borrow a car, but literally... we have nothing... well, Ok... we actually did save a Christmas tree! LOL! Pray for safe travel. We fly out of here Christmas Day at 11pm.

Thank you for your Prayers. Thank you for your Support!!

~Beverly - for the Fryar Family!

CHRIST"Smash" BASH

The Christ'Smash' Bash was an AWESOME Event!!

Lots of kids came out for Incredible Food, Fun & Exciting Games, and to hear the "REAL" Meaning of Christmas in some different and unique ways.

For we know that without CHRIST, Christmas is just a pointless holiday... but WITH CHRIST at the CENTER... Christmas becomes an incredible event and time in which to Celebrate, Worship, and GLORIFY the LORD for His Awesome Sacrifical Gift... HIS SON! Who would bring about the SALVATION of the World.

Here are a few pics from the night! :)

SURVIVOR RETREAT

The Smash Series

~ OUTSERVE, OUTLOVE, OUTLAST ~

The First Fall Mini-Retreat was INCREDIBLE!!

Our Students came out READY to STAND, READY to LEARN, and with OPEN HEARTS to hear about our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ!!

We had some Incredible Games, SURVIVAL Techniques, and FUN!!

BUT... more Importantly... we got to ALL get quiet... Listen... and Hear from our Savior!! The Messages were Sweet, Personal, and Straight to the Heart. Our Worship was Purposeful, Authentic, and Glorifying.

We ALL Learned a lot on this Retreat... About Priorities, About STANDING, About being BOLD to the Call... and about Persevering... even when you don't want to!

We even had a Massive Rain Storm at 1am... that eventually sent all our campers to Shelter (despite their DEEP DESIRE to "SURVIVE" it!) ... but even that... didn't DROWN out their Enthusiasm!! Even after sleeping on wet blankets! What a GREAT Spirit!!! :)

It was SWEET! Thank you for your Prayers!

Upcoming Retreat News!!!

We are VERY EXCITED to be having a Mini-Retreat this fall! We haven't done one of these before, as we pour so much into the Spring Retreat. We just really felt like our kids NEED this right now... and so do we! SO... next weekend we are heading out of town for some RENEWAL! Please pray for our Kiddos and the SMASH leaders! Our THEME... SURVIVOR! The SMASH Series!

New Pics

Here are few New Pics, and a Few Older pics from last Spring.

Caleb and Kaylee on his birthday at the Bowling Alley.

SMASH Update!

The SMASH Ministry continue to plug along! We have had our usually Every Other Friday night events with LOUD VOLUME, Fun & Games, and HARD TRUTH! Chris is doing a series right now on Spiritual Warfare... and for good reason! We are all feeling it!!! BADLY!! The Kids, The Teachers, US! We feel the major BATTLE going on in our lives and in the student's lives. Please pray for them! Please pray that the Holy Spirit moves in POWERFUL, Exciting ways that will allow for REVIVAL amoung our Teens.

We have continued our SMASH Unplugged sessions also. This is Small Group Bible study and a time for the students to dig in DEEP. Amanda is leading the Girls, and what a blessing she has been! She is teaching some of the Attributes of God. She studies and digs in deep to get a "GOOD STUFF!" Chris and Jonathan have the guys split between them and are working on building the group to be unified. Please pray on these lines as well!

SMASH in the PARK!

SMASH'A'LIZING!!!

We had our FIRST Smash'a'Lizing event last Saturday! We want SMASH to reach out the community this year, and we started that by having SMASH in the Big City Park. All the families were invited and we all sat out under a big tree right next to the major walking track. We played games, we fellowshipped, and we worshipped the CREATOR in HIS Creation! We had song sheets that were translated, and a translator for Chris. Chris shared an Amazing message about God's love! It was a great "Nuts and Bolts" Salvation message. We had some vendors come up, and one fella who shared about his motorcycle accident. Even though we didn't have the Brasilian turnout that we had planned for.... One of our new families were there... One of our non-believing families... and they just SOAKED in the message! The Lord has his MIGHTY Purposes!! It also showed us which of our Smashers were really wanting to serve and had a heart for service. It was a great day!! We will continue these on a every 2 month type basis!

Caleb turns 6!!

My Baby Boy turned 6!!

It seems like just yesterday we were meeting him for the first time in Hong Kong. I took time to pull out about 30 of his Baby Pics that Sarah & Rachel had taken of him in HK. His story is so God-Sized! He has TRULY been LOVED so much by SO MANY! I just had to post a few of his baby pics here! The Lord has blessed me, as a mother, beyond all logical reason and explanation! I'm so thankful that the Lord is in the MIRACLE BUSINESS! ... Amazing Grace ...

He's such an amazing fella! I'm so proud of him!!! He is in a class of only 5, and happens to SHARE his Birthday with another boy. They had a fun Double Party at school, and then we took him out for Bowling that night! (his choice!). He also loves for anybody and everybody to join in with him... so we invited the Staff and Staff kids. We had a great night! He actually beat the other Staff kids... who are Teenagers! :) He got a big kick out of that! AND... His FAVORITE present of all.... A Bible! Now that he can read, he wanted a Bible that didn't just have pictures... he wanted a Bible like Dad's! So we got him a small sized Young Readers NIV... no pictures! He's so proud of it!!! No sweeter sound than my precious one asking..."Hey Mom & Dad... can we sit together after dinner and read the Bible?" ... He's a Whiz at memorizing Scripture also! Tonight... he was singing..."Children, obey your parents in the Loorwd, for this is right...." :) We had to joke about recording that and playing it back when he is Sixteen! ...but all joking aside... nothing is sweeter than knowing (at least for now!) your child desires to know more about Jesus! AND... he's even EVANGELIZING! He conducts his OWN "SMASH Meetings" with some of our friend's kids... where he says he "Tells them all about Jesus!" :) We may just have a little evangelist in our hands! God is So Good! He has BIG Plans for this special child! Chris and I are so thankful to have him "on loan" for a few years... please pray for us to continue to mold him in the correct way.

I know that some Adoptive parents remember birthdays as the anniversary of another event: the Amazing, Brave, SELF-LESS courage of a birthmother. The day after his birthday, I took time to explain some of this to him... and had some precious moments. We prayed for her together. And then ... Of course... in true Caleb style...this In depth Mom-driven discussion ended with "So tomorrow, after school, can I ride my bike at the school?" ... classic ...

Please join us in praying for his Amazing Birthmother & Birthfather.