Written: 3/12/11. I haven't been able to write much the past 2 weeks.... For multiple reasons... I usually write when I am able to spend a few hours really thinking about what is going on in my head. I haven't really had much time to reflect lately.
Mom took a turn for the worse on Monday, Feb 21st. Daddy called us all in. Bonnie and I arrived on February 22nd, Charlie on Feb 24th. (As written in the previous post, February 22nd has always been a special date. "Special" is not the right word, however. It is the anniversary of the day I was diagnosed. To arrive "Home" to see Mom on this day and to reflect on the past 12 years... that's really tough....
Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday were all filled with "the business" of preparations... I've always been able to push emotions aside when in "business" mode... I think that's a Learned Nursing Skill! ...but when things get still... the emotions come back...
Friday was tough. I really didn't think she would make it through the night... I so dreaded waking up the next morning. HOWEVER, I also knew that of all of us... I was likely to be the best prepared of all of us to handle it, so I jumped up quickly, paused... took some really deep breaths. She was still with us. It's such a tough situation... its difficult to figure out exactly WHAT you feel... relief or regret, sadness or joy, anxiety or peace... I've never been so conflicted.
Later that morning her breathing became more rapid and meds weren't really controlling her pain very well. I got very frustrated with not being able to "FIX IT" - another Nursing skill!
My sister began reading for HER Bible. She debated what to read... What do you read?? The Awesome thing about the Bible... it TRULY EVERYTHING is applicable! All of scripture points to JESUS! Bonnie started reading and almost immediately she relaxed....
She entered the Gates of Glory at 3:23 on Saturday, February 26th, 20011 while listening to her favorite Psalms leading her straight into the arms of Jesus!
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